Why straight people should say Yes to gay marriage

For most queer people, same-sex marriage, gay marriage, marriage equality, call it what you will is about equal access to a legal institution, and for us equality is important.

For a large part of mainstream society, equality honestly just isn’t that important, and inequality doesn’t affect your day -to-day lives. I know you don’t really care about queer people’s mental health or about queer teens’ suicide rates. Yes, it’s sad, but it doesn’t really affect you, and you’d rather it all just went away.

I know that to a large number of you, the gays are an irritation, an inconvenience. Of course it gives me the shits that you see my existence as an inconvenience, but I won’t pretend it isn’t so, and try to sell you same-sex marriage on a platform of equality, benefit to queers, and #loveveislove.

I know that since we are an inconvenience, you’d rather we just went away, but unfortunately (or otherwise) we are here to stay. Society has tried for centuries to reduce the inconvenience we cause by making us go away, but I think we all realize that we are not going anywhere.

So aside from the equality that we care about, I’d like to share with you how same-sex marriage can help solve some of the inconvenience that you care about.

Admin is a mess

In most states and territories in Australia, there is some kind or relationship register or civil partnership register that unmarried couples can use to register their relationships. Same-sex couples are required to use these registers if they wish to register their relationships. It’s a mess: each state or territory that uses such a scheme has to administer this scheme, as well as administering the recognition of similar interstate schemes and administering the recognition of marriage, which itself is looked after by the Commonwealth. All this jumble, all these intertwined systems could be streamlined and simplified simply by opening up marriage to all couples who want to register their relationships.

Think of all the taxpayers’ money that could be saved. Think of all the red tape that could be done away with. Think of all the extra time, money, and resources that could be put into roads, schools, and hospitals instead of managing half a dozen mostly-equivalent systems that could all be consolidated into the one institution that already exists and is universal: marriage.

Determining next of kin is a mess

When people in same-sex relationships die or fall ill, how much time, money, and effort is spent trying to ascertain who their next of kin is? Lots. Doctors and medical staff spend time and taxpayers’ money trying to find out who should make decisions on a person’s care, when they could be taking care of patients. Taxpayers’ money and administration time is spent in courts trying to determine who a dead person’s next of kin is, who has rights over their affairs. And all of this could be solved by opening up marriage to couples who want to use marriage to manage this.

Barring same-sex couples from marrying costs us all money, and reduces the quality of our healthcare. It’s such a simple fix.

Children are important

Same-sex couples have children. The debate on whether they should or not is a different one, but the fact is: they do. And children of same-sex couples are important. Their lives are important, their childhoods are important, and their education is important.

Children’s lives are easier when the administration of their lives and their education is simple. And that involves recognizing their parents. Marriage makes this super, super simple. It instantly recognizes co-parents, and reduces time and money spent by education systems and other systems administering children’s lives and arrangements. This doesn’t just improve life and education for the children of same-sex couples; it improves life and education for all children. Streamlined education systems with simple admin benefit everyone. Opposition to same-sex marriage is very literally holding your child back.

And aside, if you really do believe that children need a mother and a father, that children of same-sex couples are necessarily at a disadvantage, surely you wouldn’t support putting these kids at more of a disadvantage. Surely you would want to do everything possible to mitigate the effects of that inherent disadvantage. Same-sex marriage does that.

So #VoteYes for you

So straight people, even if you don’t really care all that much about equality, put your support behind same-sex marriage because it benefits you. Even if you actually oppose rights for queer people, put your support behind same-sex marriage because it benefits you. Even if you think queers are a scourge on society, put your support behind same-sex marriage because it benefits society as a whole.

Even if you won’t do it for us, do it for you.

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Ten Music Videos I Love

Driving home with Scot last night, he reported a conversation he was having on Twitter with Kat. She said that there hasn’t been a single good music video made since the 1980s.

I disagree, and here are my picks for amazing music videos made in the last 25 years.

1. Telephone – Lady Gaga & Beyonce

A ten-minute affair, telling the story of Gaga being bailed out of prison by Beyonce before going on a murderous killing spree. The story’s fun, the production is brilliant, the costumes spectacular, and there’s some pretty gorgeous choreography.

Let’s make a sandwich!

2. We are never getting back together – Taylor Swift

The song is [brilliant/a load of crap] (delete as applicable), but the video is fantastic. I’m generally a lover of one-shot videos, but here’s one that includes multiple sets and loads of costume changes. Fun stuff!

3. Happiness – Goldfrapp

Another one that appears to be one-shot, but I’m not sure it is. This features a guy bouncing around an English street (which must have been bloody tiring). I love the song, but the video is bouncy, uplifting and fun. Bonus points for various cameos from Alison Goldfrapp. Looks like quick costume changes, but I reckon it’s more like pretty slick editing.

4. Come Into My World – Kylie Minogue

Visually quite similar to Happiness by Goldfrapp, this sees Kylie walk round a neighborhood in several loops, and after each loop she’s joined by another Kylie making the same journey. Each loop sees order breaking down a little bit, as people and their situations are duplicated. I love it.

5. Keep This Fire Burning – Beverley Knight

Beverley walks through people’s apartments, collecting residents as back-up dancers as she progresses. It’s bonkers, and I love it.

6. Forever More – Moloko

A wonder of green screen and on-the-fly choreography. Roisin Murphy was filmed dancing to the song, and the dancers were added afterwards, attempting to follow her on a screen. No rehearsal, and a single take. Brilliant.

7. Be the One – The Ting Tings

I can’t even explain why I love this video too much. Boy and girl separated, go searching for each other, find each other, escape together. It’s the oldest story ever, but gorgeously told.

8. Say You’ll Be There – Spice Girls

I can’t think of a Spice Girls video that isn’t amazing, but this was particularly good. For absolutely no reason whatsoever, just a performance in the desert. There was a hint of a story, but I think we stopped caring after the first ten seconds.

9. Torn – Natalie Imbruglia

This is one of my favorite pop songs to date, and also one of my favorite videos. Natalie sings to camera as the story of the relationship that is breaking up is told in the apartment behind her. The video ends with the set being dismantled around her – an obvious but well-handled metaphor.

10. 1234 – Feist

I’m finishing with another one-shot video. This is simple, but fun and colorful. And I love colorful, and I love fun.